I don't know if anyone remembers, but months ago I wrote a blog about heart tugs. Basically, it was about the the different times when being a parent, you get your heart tugged a little by your kids and the great things they do sometimes.
I just had to mention one time during each day that Anistyn makes tears swell up in my eyes as my heart is being tugged by her...yet again.
I might blame it on pregnancy hormones, but I know it happened way before I was pregnant. It pretty much happens every single morning...when I drop her off at her school.
We have our morning routine, as many families do. Once we've dragged ourselves out of bed, its breakfast time. While she's eating, I pack her snack, sign her folder, and make sure all homework is in there, and anything else she might need. I get her dressed, brush her hair...jacket and backpack...check. Out the door we go.
Thankfully on chilly mornings Josh already has the van warmed up for us therefore there isn't much whining about how cold she is. We make the short drive to school. I go through the drive line, double checking that she has her backpack on.
One of the teachers are always outside doing "car duty." As we pull up, they open the door for Anistyn to get out. I tell her that I love her so much and that I hope she has a great day...then out she hops with the door closing behind her.
The heart tug always comes right after that. As she's walking away. I always watch her for a moment. Her hair bouncing and backpack bobbing on her. She looks so little...yet so confident. Every single morning without fail as I watch her walk into school...she takes my breath away. She is simply getting so big...so fast. She doesn't even realize it.
I wish I could go in with her. I wish I could make sure none of the bigger kids knock into her accidently. I wish I could make sure that she gets straight to her room. That mommy instinct of mine...always in protection mode.
Instead, I can only prepare her. I can make sure her backpack is packed. Shoelaces tied. Homework done. I can prepare her and help her get ready. I can provide her with everything she needs to succeed.
But she has to walk in by herself.