Wednesday, September 23, 2009

Welcome to life as an Army Wife...

So, over a week ago I married Josh.

I also married the army. Its important to Josh, and so its important to me. Honestly, listening to Josh talk about the army, and how he feels about his job, and this country has given me a new found respect for our military, and a bigger love for this country. I always said I would never date or could never marry someone in the military. I didn't think I could handle the long distance, the thought of losing my husband, or all the worrying. Josh is different from any guy I've ever met though, and I love him more than anything, so if being a military wife means I get to be Josh's wife...then bring it.

While I've been sitting around moping because I want to be with Josh (okay not sitting around all day long...I am busy...) my amazing soldier has been a busy bee. On top of PT (basically a workout, like a 5 mile run...don't worry, I've learned a little army slang) at 4 in the morning, then breakfast, class from 8-4 where he hears nothing but Persian Farsi, then dinner, study hall for 2 hours, then homework after THAT...Josh has also had to pack in all the paperwork for our move over there. And the army recquires a LOT of paperwork. When I think they're done...they want one more thing. Tomorrow I have to get the lease to my apartment, then go to my mom's work to wait for Josh to call so I can fax it to him on his lunch break. My poor husband is in need of serious sleep, but instead he's going to class tomorrow, then CQ (its a night shift) where he has to stay awake all night...just so he can finish everything up on Friday.

He constantly surprises me with how much he cares. I can't do much over here, except wait. I guess thats what I'll be doing a lot, and I'm okay with that...alright, I'm not doing flips over waiting...but I think its something I better get used to. It just plain stinks though that I'm a newlywed...and I can't be with him right now. I would say I was being selfish and Josh would say..."Its not being selfish when you love someone." Cheeseball;)

I don't know what the future army life will bring us. I'm actually excited about it for the most part. I'm excited about being married to a man that stands for something, and believes in this country. I'm excited about being a part of that. I'm excited about traveling, and meeting new people. I don't know much about army life, but I do know that sometimes it means sacrificing your own home life, so that we can all be safe. I've never had more respect for the wives and children of military men.

This is my first dose of separation, and it will definitely not be the longest separation we'll have. We'll spend the next 7 months together in California, then Josh has to go to Texas for 4 months and we can't go with him there. After we get based somewhere, Josh could get deployed...and thats a whole new set of worries there. I think the difference now is that we JUST got married. I feel like I'm in limbo. I love savoring these last few weeks with my family, but I'm also ready to be a part of my new family...Josh, me and Anistyn. I'm ready to start cooking dinner for us, decorating, waking up in our own home...I'm even ready to start doing Josh's laundry. And in the meantime...I'm waiting. Waiting for the army to give us the go ahead. It could be worse and I know that. Right now there are men fighting for our country and their wives are sitting at home worrying about them. I don't know how I'll be when if that time comes for me.

Right now though, I'm just proud of Josh for putting in all the effort because he wants us over there just as bad as I do. He's losing sleep, and everyday I hear his voice I hear all the stress. I just can't wait to give him a hug, or be right there with him through everything. We only had a week together, but when we're together...we're just happy. Having him around just calms my nerves. Guess it better...we have to deal with each other for awhile:)

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