Thursday, January 7, 2010

Married Life

The question that I get asked a lot is "How is married life?" When I was still in Alabama and Josh was out here I would always say "Well, I can't tell you...seeing as since I'm not with my husband I really have no idea what its like yet!"

I talked to my grandmother the other day though and she asked me that since I was now WITH Josh, what did I think of married life now? So I really thought about. What have I learned about marriage in these few months of being married?

Now I know a lot of people have been married a heck of a lot longer than me, but every marriage and every observation in a marriage is different. So here's mine.

I have learned that communication REALLY is a great tool used in marriage. I've learned how important it is to share how both people feel about any given situation. Also, debating is okay, because it lets you lay out all possibilities.

I've learned how important it is to be a team. No matter what situations arise, in the end you have to make decisions (and make the decisions together)  that the other person will back you up on whole heartedly.

I've learned that men...ANY really just a boy at heart. Anything that is shiny, shoots bullets, or goes boom will REALLY grab their attention for unknown lengths of time.

I've learned that there is nothing better than to be married to your best friend. Someone you can just sit back with at the end of the day, and just laugh together. I've always thought...if there was someone who could keep me laughing...he would have my heart forever. Such is the case with Josh.

I've learned that men and women are in some ways similar, and some ways, its like we're from different planets. It keeps things interesting though...even if you find yourself looking at your spouse sometimes with a "huh??" look.

I've learned that having a husband that is willing to chip in is a wonderful thing. One of the many things that are great about Josh is that he is not the type that thinks that once he's home his work is done. Not that I leave the house trashed until he gets here or anything. I am the one who primarily takes care of all the household chores, but he's not afraid to help out. The smallest things mean a lot. Example...we don't have washer/dryer hookups so we have to lug all of the laundry to the ones in the apt complex. This is usually a weekend chore since we're always forgetting to get a bunch of quarters. But Josh always hauls the huge bags for me since they're heavy...and he's not afraid to fold clothes either!

I've learned a lot about myself. I think any wife can make a list of things she would like her husband to improve on. When I think about it though, the list of things Josh DOES greatly outweighs the little things that I think he should improve on. I try more to focus on what I can improve on instead.

I've learned that while I do think its great to be attracted to your husband or wife, their looks aren't the only thing "attractive" about them. I think Josh is very handsome and of course I'm "attracted" to him, but I also think its soooo attractive that he's a devoted husband. Anyone can have good looks...but when I look at Josh, not only do I see a cute face, but I see the person that makes me and Anistyn his first priority. Man is that attractive!

I've learned how important it is to be on the same level of parenting. I won't put myself down, I think I've been the best mother I can be to my daughter. The thing about being a single mom though, is that you don't have that "back-up". Josh has stepped into his role as daddy so unbelievably well. In doing so, he's noticed ways to be more consistent...the things you don't notice when you're parenting by yourself. As in...apparently I like to give a lot of "warnings" and I will count to "3"...quite a few times. Parenting by myself, I  never noticed that I did its great to have a partner in parenting, the way it should be.

I have learned that there is no man in this world I could possibly love or admire more than Josh. Granted, I thought that before...which is why I married him. But it just keeps growing, and I think it will continue to do so. Although he can drive me crazy at times, I don't think God could have made a more perfect match for me.


  1. Sounds like you have already learned a lot, in just a short amount of time.
    I am so excited to see what the years bring for you two.
    My advice is "enjoy every minute". Even when he is driving you crazy, which he will, as soon as you can see clearly again, (rather then shooting lightening bolts out of your eyes!) learn to laugh at it. Like you said, laughing makes everything easier. Laughing at the rough stuff makes it seem so much smaller.
    It gets better every day, if you choose to make it. But you have to choose to make it better.
    Love to you both!